I will die if light touches me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
