He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
