Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
