I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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