I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
