So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize