Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
