I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
