it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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