You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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