and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
