im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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