I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
