Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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