so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
