im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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