Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
