oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
