I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
In America we eat man semen.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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