ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize