Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
