I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
