She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
