Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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