You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
