i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
There was a lot of him and a little penis
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
