I hate your face
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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