Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
