1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
You were trust falling into bushes
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
