I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
