Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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