I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize