My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
