I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
