at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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