My first STD was from a foam party
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
