Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize