She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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