Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
