If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
