it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
