Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
