tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
