Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
