my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize