its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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