I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
