Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
MIDGETS
????
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
