she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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