hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
