nut hugger
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
