It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
