You smell like a Billy Joel song
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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