I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
