my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
