somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
