Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
this is an emotional support booty call
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
