Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
