Sponge bath it is.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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