wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
